


Newfound Warmth

by TherapyBard



Series: Bad Things Happen Bingo [5]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Blizzards & Snowstorms, Caleb Widogast's Backstory, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Headcanon, Homelessness, Insomnia, Nightmares, POV Caleb Widogast
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-07
Updated: 2021-02-07
Packaged: 2021-03-12 02:35:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,610
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29253042
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TherapyBard/pseuds/TherapyBard
Summary: The snowstorms in Eiselcross brought back some memories for Caleb, for better and for worse
Relationships: Beauregard Lionett & Caleb Widogast, The Mighty Nein & Caleb Widogast
Series: Bad Things Happen Bingo [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1942036
Comments: 3
Kudos: 69
Collections: Bad Things Happen Bingo





	Newfound Warmth

**Author's Note:**

> TW: Nightmare, bad snowstorm, homelessness, insomnia  
> This is for the Bad Things Happen Bingo prompt Caught in a Storm. Thank you Doctor_Incubus for inspiring this. See their full prompt in the notes at the end of the fic.  
> This takes place after the first bad story the party encountered when it was just them and Dagen.

Caleb should’ve told everyone it was a bad idea to walk through a storm. It wasn’t as if he didn’t have enough experience, having grown up in the Zemni Fields. And yet, he couldn’t help but go along with the group’s decision to push knowing how urgent their mission was.

That still didn’t stop him from feeling guilty when everyone ended the day sore and miserable.

Caleb summoned the door to the tower and everyone rushed inside. “Warmth! Thank god!” Beau said. Everyone else looked similarly relieved. Caleb himself was grateful to no longer be shivering, only now realizing how exhausting that had been.

“We should all rest and warm ourselves up,” Caleb said. “It is possible we will wake up tomorrow feeling worse than we do now, so we should do what we can to prevent that.”

“To the kitchen!” Veth said before floating upwards.

The others followed and, once in the dining room, gave their orders to the cats before collapsing in their chairs. Caduceus began brewing tea before anyone had the chance to ask. The food was brought out and everyone cherished the warm meal.

“I’ve never been happier to be traveling with a wizard,” Fjord said.

“Ja, I certainly wish I had this spell growing up,” Caleb said.

“Why? Are winters bad in the Zemni Fields?”

“Not as bad as this most of the time, but it was certainly not, ah, pleasant.” Caleb had another spoonful of the soup he had ordered, attempting to block memories from resurfacing. This storm was bad enough. He didn’t need to relieve past ones.

“Then why are you always shivering and stuff?” Jester asked. “Shouldn’t you be used to it?”

“This is not, ah, the kind of cold you get used to. It is what encouraged me to start specializing in fire spells.”

“Was that before or after you were already at…” Yasha cut herself off midquestion.

Caleb could catch her meaning and responded, “Before. I was eight at the time. I should have gone straight home after school, but Astrid and Eadwulf were not there to keep me on track. I walked past a bookstore and couldn’t help myself. I… loved to learn, was desperate for as much knowledge as I could fit into my head. I went over to the cheap section, where there were lots of beat up, used books.”

He looked up from his meal and saw everyone staring at him, ignoring their own food. Caleb realized this was the first time he talked about his life prior to the academy. “I skimmed through the first few pages of many books. Nothing peaked my interest until I found a book with a blank, stained cover. Inside, I found a bunch of beginner spells. I only knew what they were since my teacher told me about some of them. She wouldn’t teach me anything, since kids shouldn’t mess with magic, but I begged her for whatever she was willing to share.

“I bought the book with the small amount of money I had managed to make doing chores for our neighbors. I spent weeks pouring over the book, eventually bringing Astrid and Eadwulf in on it as well. Finally, alone in my room. I managed to get a small flame in my hand. I ran down to show my parents. Mom freaked out at first and almost threw water on me. Then I explained and they were so proud. So proud.”

“So you learned your first spell by yourself?” Caduceus asked. He started passing tea out to everyone.

“With help from friends, but ja. I had no instructor.”

“That’s amazing, Caleb!” Veth said. “No wonder you’re so powerful now.”

“Yeah, I always had the Traveler's help when I tried to learn new things. I’m pretty sure that if I tried to do that, I would’ve blown something up,” Jester said.

_ But I did blow up my home. Eventually. _

Beau must’ve seen Caleb’s mood drop, because she rushed to change the subject. “Since you grew up with storms like this, do you have any tips we could use?”

“I wouldn’t say I grew up with storms like that one out there. Zemnian storms could be bad, but not this destructive. Plus, what worked in the safety of my home will not be effective here. We would all stay inside and huddle around a fire.”

“Yeah, that makes sense.”

They all finished their meals and went to bed. Caleb, happy he’d thought to put extra blankets in everyone’s room, curled up with Frumpkin until he fell asleep.

* * *

Cold. So cold. He huddled in an alleyway behind a building, taking any shelter he could find. His muscles grew sore from shaking.  _ I can’t stay here. They’ll find me if I stay in one place for too long. I’m not far enough yet. _ He tried to stand but his legs wouldn’t support his weight.  _ I’m going to die here. I’m going to die. _

* * *

Caleb woke up. The warmth of his blankets shocked him after the chill air of his dream. Frumpkin crawled up onto Caleb’s chest to supply whatever comfort he could. “Danke…” He scratched Frumpkin behind the ear before getting up. He’d learned by this point that he could never go back to sleep right after a nightmare. Not without falling into the same one again.

He made his way to the library, taking a blanket with him. Beau sat on one of the couches reading. “You are up late.” Caleb said.

“Couldn’t sleep. Thought one of your boring ass books would help.”

He looked at the front cover. “I will have you know  _ The Epic of Warder Bremsworth _ is a classic.”

“And like every classic, it’s impossible to get through without skimming.”

Caleb sat down next to her. “I’ll admit, it was read to me my first time through and that may have helped. Still, it is a good read if you let yourself get immersed in it.”

“I’ll take your word on that.” She put the book down on the table in front of them. “What’s up with you? Bad dream or something?”

He smiled. “You read me too well, Beauregard. I came down here to take my mind off it.”

“You sure that’s the best way to deal with this? I mean, if you want a distraction, I can give you a distraction, but you tend to just sulk when you really should talk about this stuff.”

“It was not a big deal. Just a memory triggered by the storm.”

“I thought you said they weren’t too bad, since you were safe inside and stuff?”

“It wasn’t when I was home. It was after… everything. It was winter when I escaped. Or, when Ikithon let me leave if you trust his account of events.”

“I don’t, but go on.”

“While I wanted to get as far away as possible, I had to be stealthy. I had every reason to believe people were looking for me, ready to kill me if I were found. It was… a terrifying first few weeks. I couldn't decide if I was more likely to die from an assassin or from hypothermia.”

“That… That sounds like it really sucked.” She patted him on the arm. “But hey, you’re here now. No assassin’s gonna be able to touch you with us around. And anyway, you probably learned some tricks for staying warm while you were on the run.”

Caleb remembered Beau and Jester after he showed them the bread trick. ‘You know you can buy mitten,’ Jester had said.  _ Not always. _ “They’re silly. You don’t need to worry about them.”

“What do you mean silly? They helped you survive when… Oh.” Her face fell.

“As I said, you don’t need to worry about it.”

“No, the way we reacted to the bread thing was fucked up. I thought that was just you being weird or whatever. I didn’t… Fuck.”

“I’m glad you both thought it was silly, truly. I’m glad neither of you would ever think of not being able to have warm food and warm clothes. No one should have to be without one or the other. It just means you had a better, well, not better, more stable life than I. That’s good. I didn’t always see that then, but I do now.”

“Maybe, but we still shouldn’t have laughed. That wasn’t okay. You were scared and on the run after losing ten years of your life.”

“You didn’t know that then.”

“Well, I do now.” She sighed. “I really should stop complaining about my family. Yeah, my dad sucks, but at least I was never cold. I got whatever I wanted. I never had to stick my hands into loaves of bread.”

“Your father definitely did suck, and you have the right to ‘complain’ about it. I could make a similar argument if I wished. Even if I did grow up poor and was not always as comfortable as I could be, I was loved. That’s better than any material thing as far as I am concerned.”

“Yeah, you’re right. Comparing this shit is pointless. But hey, we’re both away from all that now. That’s what matters.”

“I couldn’t agree more.” He picked out the book off the table. “Now, how would you like it if I read this to you?”

She rolled her eyes. “Fine. It’ll certainly help me fall asleep.”

He started where she’d left off. Admittedly, she was in a rather slow section of the story with many details that aren’t interesting until reread. Beau fell asleep in minutes. A desire to engage in nostalgia led Caleb to keep reading. His mind slowly fell into a dreamless sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! I’m sorry for the long hiatus. The long break between episodes really took me out of the fandom for a while. I did post something in the aftermath of the eyes thing, but this is my first BTHB story in almost 2 months. I hope it’s good.  
> I actually started writing this more than a month ago before realizing it was trash because I wasn’t into it. I’m back now and should hopefully post more frequently now.  
> BTW, Yasha found Caleb and Beau sleeping against each other the next morning. It was adorable but she didn’t tell anyone.  
> Full Prompt: I get the vibes that the Zemni Fields don’t exactly have the nicest winters and Caleb was straight up homeless for like five years. Homeless plus snowstorm is a really bad combo IMO.


End file.
